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The Unseen Force Driving Success: Discover What You've Been Overlooking
An Unconventional Strategy for Achieving Unprecedented Growth
Connor Sell
December 03, 2023
New and “seasoned” readers alike - welcome, glad you’re here! The 18th edition. Time flies. In that same vein, let me switch up the introduction and take you to a phone call I got almost six years ago.
As the sun greeted another Thursday morning, I found myself in the driver's seat of my beloved Tacoma, heading down the path to Boeing Charleston. It seemed like just another ordinary start to the day until my phone chimed, and my father's voice filled the airwaves of the sound system, carrying an unusual weight.
“Hi Dad - what’s going on with you?”
"Son, I want to apologize," he uttered, his words resonating with a depth I hadn't often heard. His honesty cut through the distance between us, rare and healing in its own right.
You see, forgiveness had silently accompanied me on my life's journey for some time now. Like the morning sun dispersing the lingering mist, any old grievances had long dissipated from my heart and I grew majorly long before this call. But this was different—this was an offering of reconciliation, a mutual recognition of our shared humanity and the inherent imperfections that come with it. We were man to man for one of the first times in my life. Truth be told, I had acted like a reckless and ignorant kid for many years, and we had the tensions that a lot of fathers/sons have….
My dad, like many parents of his generation, sometimes was just working too hard and had a tough way about him (that I now appreciate), just as his own father had been a bit tough on him. They were cut from a similar cloth, the kind of cloth that will work circles around you - a noble quality, but with tendency (I share in this tendency) to miss out on family events and everyday stuff, in the name of making a better life - the great American dream, no?
For the record, my Dad is one of the smartest people I know, has a huge heart, and the mental fortitude of David Goggins when required - we have a great relationship that I’m eternally grateful for and still learning and growing from. He cared and loved us - and I honor him for his marriage, his spirit of fatherhood, and his accomplishments in life. I’m proud of him, to say the least.
Our conversation that morning wasn't a replay of bygone days; it was a reaffirmation that even those who've guided us have their own paths to navigate, filled with stumbles and lessons. We all wear multiple hats—entrepreneurs, parents, children—but beneath those roles, we're simply individuals doing our best. This is the raw truth that’s preserved until sometime after adolescence - we all had to confront this reality.
To my dad (who is my number one fan and weekly reader - thanks you!) and all those joining this dialogue through the newsletter: this story isn't meant to dwell on the past but to celebrate the growth that springs from understanding and empathy. Forgiveness isn't solely an external act; it's a personal liberation, a means to break free from the chains of history.
Allow me to speak life and speak boldly - as each of us charts our own course, let's steer toward forgiveness with grace and seek it with humility. Life is too fleeting for scorekeeping. You know what they say “an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind”. We ought embrace the expansiveness of forgiveness —the kind that allows us to breathe easier and greet the road ahead with open hearts and minds and a growth mindset!
Why did I share this very personal story? Onward…
Forgiveness: A Scientific Perspective
This week, we're diving deeper into the science behind forgiveness, inspired by Dr. Caroline Leaf's research. This is part one in a series on developing and applying a growth mindset. True growth can’t be achieved holistically until we work through some of the roadblocks. Unforgiveness is the number one roadblock that most of us suffer from as a result. Solutions below - rooted in hard science! Let's unpack what is so easy to overlook in our hearts and minds.
Quantum Physics and Forgiveness
According to Dr. Leaf, the concept of entanglement in quantum physics parallels the process of forgiveness. When we forgive, we're essentially breaking free from negative emotional entanglements, akin to how particles in quantum physics influence each other despite distances.
Neuroscientific Proof
Forgiveness isn't only a feel-good concept - not by any stretch; it's a brain-changing process, literally. Engaging in forgiveness stimulates the growth of the anterior superior temporal sulcus, a brain region linked with managing emotional pain. This neuroplasticity reflects the tangible impact of forgiveness on our mental health.
Dr. Leaf's Neurocycle Method:
Awareness: Identifying emotional responses.
Reflection: Understanding the causes behind these emotions.
Writing: Structuring thoughts through writing.
Analysis: Reevaluating and reshaping perceptions.
Implementation: Regularly practicing new thought patterns.
Why It Matters
In the realms of business and personal growth, understanding the scientific basis of forgiveness can lead to clearer decision-making, enhanced innovation, and overall mental well-being. Without a growth mindset, we are completely limited by the narrative framework, ideologies, and limitations that are quite frankly suffocating us at every turn. A growth mindset is an entrepreneurs (or intrapreneur) best tool to overcome. It allows you to see outside the traditional frameworks and use critical thinking to overcome on every level - emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually.
Final Thoughts
Let's view forgiveness as a way to change ourselves, supported by science, instead of just an emotional process. Emotional processes usually don't motivate me to make a difference, but knowing that science has evidence and proof that forgiveness can be beneficial is sufficient to get me to move. Salience is the key to changing.
Check out the links and videos below for some practical information to elaborate if you’re curious.
Resources:
The Video that Changed My Entire Understanding
The Ed Mylett Show
Dr. Andrew Huberman - Stanford
Until next time, stay curious and stay frosty!
Charlie Munger | Giant | Legend
To Charles T. Munger, may you rest in peace. Poor Charlies Almanack PDF below, free.
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Ace heard the bombs dropping, and he lived to tell the tales. He fought for our freedoms, ensures we can keep speaking and living how we like, and all he asks in return? Alpo. A few cases of Alpo Premium Blend, and a couple of old Nerf Footballs.
Forgiveness is the final form of love.
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